Birthday number 33 – 12 things I’ve learnt / accepted about life, people & myself

As I touch another milestone, another year, I think back on the life lessons I’ve learnt and the little things I’ve accepted, about life and people, about friends and those who say they-are-your-friends-but-are-not.

I’ve changed and morphed, for the better or for the worse. I’ve wizened up a little and grayed some more (much to the chagrin of my hair stylist who still hasn’t been able to convince me to color my hair). 

I’m more comfortable in my skin and in my honesty sans the diplomacy.

I’ve gone through my own fires and the equivalent of hell. I’ve learnt to find my inner strength and the pillar in prayers.

I’m more thankful for what I have now, today, right in this moment – the relationships and love, the things and the abundance. I’m just as content, or maybe a tonne more, in this little world of mine, with this wonderful family of mine, in this colorful & bohemian home where we live and the worlds we create everywhere.

I’m almost 2 years into my journey as a mother, 9 as a wife and 33 as a daughter. I’m embracing my life, with its fault lines and flaws, with its beauty and the bittersweet, with its daily struggles and endless to-do’s.

So, here are the 12 things that I’ve accepted/learnt/embraced this year.

1. Life can throw curve balls at you when you least expect it. It can pull you out of your comfort zone and drag you into the bowels of hell. But when you emerge, first your head bobbing out, then your flailing arms, and then slowly, your entire self, you walk through light so bright and pure, wisdom so rare and peaceful that you learn to live your best self.

2. Not everyone will like you, in spite of what they say or how you behave. But you just make peace with it because hey, you don’t like everyone you meet or party with.

3. You cannot beat yourself up because a so-called friend judged you (you painfully realize that they are so-called friends and not just friends because of this). You just have to stay honest to yourself by being what you are, by doing what comes naturally to you.

4. Some situations and phases are a lot like labor pains – the more you fight it, the more difficult it gets. You just have to accept it and find coping techniques until that situation/phase of life passes (for example, the all-consuming nature of new motherhood, when the concept of ‘me-time’ or regular work sounds just as alien as your best friend from Mars).

5. Never go by the party chatter or the polite exuberance that’s part-and-parcel of socializing. I’m more than a bit wary of this. I’m never sure what’s honest and what’s put-on, what’s real or what’s made-up about party banter. But where earlier, I’d get a headache at anything that was spelled P-A-R-T-Y, I’ve learnt now to ride the wave, to enjoy what’s there to enjoy, and to leave the rest at the doorstep.

6. Honesty and being myself works for me. It may not work for others around me, but at least when I’m not trying to don another persona( that’s often expected of me) or dithering with diplomacy, I and others know where we all stand.

7. There’s so much of contentment and peace to be found within the realms of your own family and the walls of your home.

8. What I really need is 1 good friend to ride through the ups and downs of life with. And I’m grateful and lucky that I’ve found that pal/buddy/best friend in my husband!

9. You go through phases. Sometimes you’re not rational or reasonable, gifted or very good. At other times you’re a better version of yourself – more mellow, understanding, calm, peaceful, joyous. Our phases don’t end at toddlerhood; they ride with us all through our lives.

10. I take time to thaw out and melt into a crowd. Even now, or maybe more now. I can’t just hop out of the car and bounce in with a big smile and a party line. I take my time, standing at the edges of a party, slowly shedding my reluctance, testing the waters with a hello here, a ‘howdy’ there, before I meld in. It may get mistaken for arrogance or indifference, but well, some things are the way they are.

11. I’m a HSP – check it out here. My triggers are incessant chatter, loud noises, too much of time on the Internet, the television blaring in the background.

12. There’s peace and strength to be found in prayer. I’ve been a lousy pray-er. But over the past few months, I’ve been making an effort to pray more often. Not long prayers kneeling in front of the alter with the incense sending out curly wisps of fragrance. But simple prayers, one-line prayers, sprinkled through the span of the day.

Happy Birthday to me!